Thursday, August 27, 2009

LEGOLAND Believed To Be After Top Gear Presenters' Souls

A frightening, but not unfounded, rumor circulating the blogosphere says cult-prone employees of LEGOLAND are trying to steal the souls of the presenters of BBC's wildly famous automotive program, Top Gear.

By creating miniature representations of Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May, and The Stig, standing around a miniature Caterham R500, designers working on LEGOLAND's MINILAND hope, through Voo Doo-esque techniques, they can imbue the miniatures with the souls of the BBC presenters. The goal is to make MINILAND as realistic as possible, though critics already point out only in MINILAND is Hammond as tall as 6' 4" Clarkson.

LEGOLAND chief model maker Guy Bagley says, "My colleague remembered that the Stig had put the R500 through its paces and how incredible it was on the track. It's such a timeless and iconic car that it was a ‘no-brainer' as our choice for the motorsport area, having already decided to feature Top Gear. Its design lends itself particularly well to our bricks, too. [Also, we want their souls. Especially His Stigness's.]"

The R500 featured on Top Gear has been placed in a tin foil- and garlic-lined garage in a secret location in the English countryside to prevent the theft of its Racing Spirit. Further measures: A pentagram drawn in goat's blood with black candles lit at all five corners lining the garage floor is believed to also protect the R500 from harm. Experts in such matters speculate a pair of goat's testicles may be adorning the rear-view mirror.

Link to an obviously mistaken news site: http://www.worldcarfans.com/109082621296/caterham-r500-immortalized-in-lego

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